Aunt Betty

16 years ago today, my Aunt Betty died. She was my Mom's only sister. Mom had brothers, but this was her only sister. She was 6 years younger then my Mom, and her daughter, Kari, is 6 years younger then me. My Mom and I spent a lot of time with Betty and Kari when I was growing up, and Betty was like a second mother to me. Kari was adopted, and people used to comment about how Betty and I looked more alike then her and her own daughter. None of us would correct them. We would just look at each other and agree, enjoying our own little secret.

She died very suddenly of cardiac arrest in her sleep. She was only 54. She was a smoker, a pretty heavy smoker at that. She had gotten up that morning to make breakfast for Kari and my Uncle Neal, said she didn't feel well and went back to bed. Shortly thereafter, Kari heard her struggle and she was gone. She worked hard at keeping her family happy and taking care of them, so some said that she truly died "with her boots on."

I can tell you all about that Thursday back in 1995 when I got the call at work. It was Maundy Thursday...the Thursday before Easter. I can tell you what time my Mom called. I can tell you what I was wearing. I can tell you all about the conversation that I had with my Mom and Dad and then later with my co-workers. I can even tell you about how my Dad came to where my Mom works to tell her. My Dad NEVER came to visit her at work so she knew instantly there was something wrong when she saw him. I can even tell you how I cried every night for a month.

She was quite a character, who didn't shy away from, how should we say it,...a colorful language. VERY different from my Mom. My Mom will often SPELL mild swear words, where she would let the F-Bomb go once in awhile! It just made my Mom laugh. And it still does. I remember once she dropped a cigarette in her lap and everyone was jumping to get it and all my Mom said "Good Gravy, Girl!" Betty just laughed.

This picture was taken on December 22, 1990. It was the day I graduated from college. It was a VERY cold windy day. Well, every day at UNI seemed like a cold and windy day, but it really was! (Yes, I know that my hair was big...so was everyone else's. What is the saying?? "The higher the hair, the closer to God??") She rode up to Cedar Falls with my parents for commencement and she spent a great deal of the day telling everyone how cold it was, and how her feet were freezing the whole way up in the car.

I'm not sure what year this was, but it was Christmas at my Grandparents. I was showing off some new perfume, and Betty was holding up my Cabbage Patch Doll. If you look really close she is crossing the legs of the doll. I remember her saying that the doll had to pee, so we needed to hurry with the picture. Seriously.

I can't tell you how many times I was called Betty. My Mom would do it, and my Grandparents would do it. When she died, nobody called me Betty any more and I have to admit that I sort of missed it. I remember being around my Grandparents' friends and hear them whisper about how much I looked like her. About 3 months after she died, Keith and I got married and Uncle Neal went through the receiving line and hugged me and started to cry. He told me that I looked just like Betty did on their wedding day, 30 years earlier.

As you can tell, I still miss her very much. There are jokes we hear, or stories we want to share and we talk about how that would be something that Aunt Betty would've liked. I will always have a connection with her, but I added another connection with her on January 10, 2004. That would've been her 63rd. birthday. It was the day that Trevor was born. When I called my Mom at 6:30 in the morning and told her that she had a new grandson, she knew right away who's birthday he was born on. She was sort of hoping that he would come on that day.

She would've enjoyed all of my boys. I Miss and Love You, Aunt Betty!